He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
