Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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