Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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