I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
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I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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