I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
