Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
