I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize