Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
