I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
