I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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