he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who died my cat blue again?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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