How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
