What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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