Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
