My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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