I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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