New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
