I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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