I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
