Dual....:-)
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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