How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
