the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
