Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
