Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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