naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
True strength comes from lack of pants
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize