I love black thongs
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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