How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
