Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
