Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
