Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
