so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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