operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
