Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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