She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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