Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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