Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
