My hand turned me down
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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