and you said cock pushups were impossible
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
