Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
