Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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