People in love make me want to vomit
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize