Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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