I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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