"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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