Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I FOUND THE LEGS
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