so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
