TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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