Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
