The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
