I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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