I seem to have left my pride at pride
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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