so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
