i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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