i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
