AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
