i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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