so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
