I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize