I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
