How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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