his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
