WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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