yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
