If that was your dad, he is hot
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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